麻豆视频

In Stay True, Hua Hsu describes a point in his life when music was everything 鈥� including a means of constructing an idealized 鈥渆nlightened鈥� version of himself. He writes with vivid detail about the ways in which he actively searched for obscure albums, which became a calling card for his identity.

Music can be a way for people to form an identity, helping us to express who we are. It can also communicate aspects of who we are to other people. This reflects how identity is both performed (through choices and behaviors) and perceived (through others鈥� impressions of our actions). 

Hua developed his musical taste by listening to 鈥渞ecords obsessively until everything strange and dissonant about them began to sound normal.鈥� (p. 27). This musical enculturation (exposure to novel music leading to the development of comfort followed by expertise) often happens by chance, with listeners sponging up whatever songs their surroundings happen to provide. In Hua鈥檚 case, his dad鈥檚 love of music led to a shared fascination with Guns N鈥� Roses guitarist Slash鈥檚 solos. But enculturation also occurs when listeners are motivated to alter their own surroundings by pursuing exposure to specific sounds, like how Hua pursued the music of bands like Pavement and Polvo.

By positioning himself outside the bounds of mainstream 90鈥檚 American culture, Hua envisioned himself as a part of an alternative, niche group. Optimal distinctiveness theory posits that people navigate competing needs for inclusion and differentiation. We see this in how Hua asserted his uniqueness by rejecting mainstream tastes, and also set himself within the bounds of his alternative community by publishing zines, hanging out in record shops, and joining Asian American activist groups.

However, Ken challenges Hua to expand his black and white idea of what (music, films, clothes) 鈥� and who 鈥� he considers cool. Ken鈥檚 preference for mainstream bands and clothes like Pearl Jam and Abercrombie initially suggested to Hua that Ken lacked Hua鈥檚 cosmopolitan and rarefied taste. At the same time, Ken was a loyal friend and intellectually provocative interlocutor. In getting to know Ken, Hua learned that Ken came to his tastes and preferences through a more enlightened process than he had initially imagined, and that his comfort with mainstream American norms and culture indicated authenticity rather than blandness.

And, Ken鈥檚 death alters Hua鈥檚 estimation of Pearl Jam too 鈥� beforehand, it was a symbol of Ken鈥檚 assimilation to mainstream American culture and the gulf between Hua and Ken. After losing Ken, listening to Pearl Jam brought comfort as Hua sought connection in his grief.

Hua鈥檚 college experience teaches us that identity isn鈥檛 set, it鈥檚 an active process. As you begin this chapter of your own lives, engage actively with the process of becoming yourself, not just by choosing your friends, music, and more, but also by appreciating how they shape you in return.